Eight Things We Need To Stop Doing as a Society

1. Twitter-ing: Twitter is like the Golden Era for self-absorbed baby boomers and the (more) self-absorbed children that they brought into the world. A sight simply devoted to telling people where you are at any given time? That's not necessary, no matter how important you rank in the power sweepstakes. Plus, don't we have Facebook to already solve this problem? I don't understand the appeal of Twitter at all.

2. Referring to your Rock Band and Guitar Hero skills to impress others: seriously, everyone has played these two games. It originally had an ironic appeal to it (dorks, including myself, rocking out to Allman Brothers classics), but now playing either game is basically as common as sending an e-mail. It's still fun to play, but the need to talk about it is over.

3. Describing the weekend you spent with friends as "crazy!": unless you ended up in a psych ward with a straitjacket, this is not necessary. In all likelihood, you had a few too many tequila shots and gave the tattooed bartender your number, all of which is not "crazy!" but something that could just as easily occur in Kansas City.

4. Grown women in groups of four desperately trying to re-create "Sex and the City": I'm sick of my favorite event of the week (Sunday Brunch) being ruined by loud, obnoxious women discussing the intimate details of their sex lives. Usually, the stories are boring and predictable. I've even been at tables where the table next to me includes women actually categorizing themselves as characters on the show (like, "I'm totally the Carrie, and you're slutty so you're obviously Samatha!" etc.) God knows I'm no prude, but I wish these generally intelligent women would switch up the conversation a bit.

5. Wearing Che Guevara shirts or putting Guevara posters up in your apartment/dorm: Actually studying the basics of history and discovering the fact that Che killed thousands of innocent people on his way to undeserved stardom makes you look incredibly stupid. Throw away your t-shirt and stop trying to be "revolutionary"

6. Talking about Sarah Palin: Palin is totally running for President in 2012. She has already started a political action committee to raise funds. She has made about 100,003 media gaffes even after the election in November. The press continues to cover her like she's the second coming of Evita. To the press and loyal Democrats: Just ignore her, and she will go away.

7. Reading Star Magazine or other Tabloids: This is a hard habit to break. I'm totally guilty of buying them. It's like they have a gravitational pull towards me every time I see an article about "Sad, sad Jennifer Aniston is alone, can't find a man, and will be childless forever." BUT: these magazines are dumbing down America, so I guess it's time to break the habit. Bonus points for not spending money on frivolous trash and saving it during the Recession.

8. Giving a loved one a Blackberry or IPhone for Christmas/Birthday/Any Holiday: It SEEMS like a good idea at the time. Who doesn't love to upgrade their phone? But giving a Blackberry or IPhone is like giving someone a new puppy: it comes with responsibility. The recipient is in charge of upgrading his or her plan, which gets confusing and annoying and potentially pricey.