Julia Stiles Is Bringing Recession Homeless Chic Back Into Style for All of Us

This reminds me of Missy Elliot's video for "The Rain" from 10 years ago where she wrapped herself in a trash bag and danced around to Timbaland's beats, and no one faulted her for it, because that song was (to use an appropriate 1998 phrase) off-the-chain.

Julia Stiles, you are no Missy Elliot.

Trash bags (even shiny ones!) are not acceptable attire, and if my fears are confirmed and you are in fact wearing said trash bag over a pair of leggings, you have lost my respect forever. Christ, it's the premiere of a Bond movie, the most misogynistic event possible, in which you are practically required to show cleavage as an homage to Bond girls of the past. Incidentally, the Wax Museum in London should look into doing a series of past Bond girls, because that would be awesome.

Back to you, Jules...throw out the goddamn leggings. Shave your legs. Pick out a red dress that shows off your decolletage. Attend Bond premiere. Smile. Receive offer to star in a romantic comedy film, in which you can win back our love and admiration. Oh, and take Missy Elliot off your Blackberry contact list -- her fashion advice is...not good, ever.